#10 - Double my gas mileage

OK, this is stretching things maybe a bit too much, but listen up while I frantically rationalize.

When I originally created this item I was driving my chick magnet of a 2004 Honda Element, getting a bit over 20 MPG.  I figured any decent hybrid would get me into the low 40s, so piece of cake, right?

Well, WRONG, because Denise beat me to the hybrid, purchasing a Toyota Prius last year, probably motivated more by the solar powered cabin ventilation system than by any promise of a smaller carbon footprint.

Anyway, one hybrid per family as I always say.  Actually it's more like one car payment at a time, especially when you have a kid in college.

Then, fortuitously, my Mom decided that it was time to move to California where she would be closer to her favorite son and also time to quit driving.  (Don't tell my Mom, but when I picture her driving I see that scene in Annie Hall with Woody Allen driving the bumper cars.)  So, good news; Mom is close to us now and the roads are safer!

The other fortuitous thing is that Mom's 2004 Honda Civic had a total of something like 13,000 miles (plus change) on the odometer.  My son is driving my old 1995 Honda Accord.  With upwards of 350K miles, it has been on death's doorstep more than occasionally.  So we figured, what the heck, buy Mom's car and save it for when the Accord shuffles off its mortal ignition coil.

Now, as long as it was sitting in my driveway, I decided (once again,) what the heck!  Might as well put a few miles on the Civic and give the Element a short break.  Turns out that the Civic gets about 37 MPG.

(THIS IS WHERE THE RATIONALIZATION BEGINS)

Bear with me while I do a little math.

The Element gets about 22 MPG on a good day.  Denise's old Pilot maybe 18.  18 + 22 / 2 = 20 MPG.

The Civic gets about 37 MPG and Denise's Prious gets about 47.  37 + 47 / 2 = 42 MPG.

42 / 20 = 2.1 times our previous mileage.

I am sure that somewhere amid the droning on about death and poverty and yada-yada during my wedding vows, there was something about two becoming one.  Consequently, there's really no "we" in a marriage.  There's really only an "I!"

Therefore, I (we) have more than doubled my (our) gas mileage.  Works for me (us.)  Until my wife (I) reads this.