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Thursday, January 24, 2013

It's NOT Happening!

Over two years into this process, it's becoming apparent that I will never complete my chosen one-hundred-one.

A quick check indicates that I have completed (some somewhat marginally) forty-four items.  Leaving FIDY-SEVEN!  Fifty-seven to-dos to be completed by September 28, 2013.

That's 247 days!

247 days is 8 months, 4 days, so roughly 7 per month.

Or, 35 weeks (rounded down) for about 1.6 per week.

 274/57 is one to-do every 4.333333333 days.

Of the fifty-seven, at least six involve travel time of a couple days to a week, to say nothing of the travel budget.

Ignoring for a moment the travel difficulties, I have about thirty-eight that I might have reasonably expected to complete.  I made a rough SWAG of the time required to complete those 38; 248 days.  So, assuming I take a sabbatical and dedicate myself exclusively to those items, it will take me one day more than I have available to complete them all.

That doesn't even address the nineteen that I've decided have no shot, e.g. learn a language.  What was I thinking?

Aside from choosing items poorly, I've also sidetracked myself into projects that were not on the list, but probably should have been.  Exempli gratia, install a hot tub.  Now that should have been on there.  Would it be wrong to list something after it's already completed?  Other list-worthy accomplishments that I neglected to enter; home-made batches of kim-chi, Sri Racha, habanero and cayenne pepper sauce, invented two cocktails (Pink Taser, and a Thai Lemon-Grass-Ginger thingy,) built a project table with drawers and cabinets for my woodworking, MacGyvered a stationary bike laptop holder out of welding rod and shrink tubing, pickled quails' eggs and attended the Stone Epic Festival!

The upshot is that I have two choices; 1) give up or 2) radically alter the parameters.  Well, when the going gets tough, the tough change the objective.  Radically altering it is.


Of course, several of the 101 were just silly to begin with, so they won't be horribly missed.

So, most likely on the way out...


9. Bench-press my body weight (i.e. lose 150 lbs) - it is to laugh.
10. Double my gas mileage - this assumed I'd be buying a hybrid; Denise preempted that plan.
11. Learn a language
23. Attend Shakespeare festival in Ashland, OR - too much travel, too little time.
28. Learn a new card game - turns out I know all the card games I care to learn.
40. Swim in the ocean - What?  And be mistaken for a manatee?!  No way.
41. Grow my own barley (and hops!) - I managed the hops, barley is unlikely.
42. Brew a beer from scratch (see #41) - without the barley I'm not likely to be brewing any beer.
53. Build a brewing station for storing all my stuff - considering sending my brewing stuff to live on a farm.
64. Avoid the urge to dye my hair/get a tattoo/buy a corvette/dump my wife for a younger woman
65. Encourage Denise to dye her hair/get a tattoo/buy a corvette/dump her husband for a younger man
70. Learn massage - to what end?
71. Get a massage (71-a; get back waxed first) - just too weird.
74. Ride a bike (get a bike) - this is sort of a duplicate of #81 - Ride bike to the market
77. Shoot hoops - having disposed of my "hoop" this has no chance
83. Use or lose the golf clubs - not likely to use, could possibly still lose
89. Create a reading nook - too many other remodel project related items.

And possibly on the way in...


  • MacGyver something
  • Host a Hunt, Gather, Grow or Barter Dinner
  • Design an Arduino Project
  • Send my brewing stuff to live on a farm
  • Shave with a straight razor
  • Forge a home-made knife out of an old saw blade 
  • Design a wood-fired pizza oven/adobe oven for the backyard
  • Climb "Walk on the Wild Side" (at Joshua Tree)
  • Fly a sailplane?
  • Design a cover lifter for the hot tub?
  • Remove the alarm system from my truck
  • Take a welding class (if I can find one short and cheap)
  • Re-join a gym?
  • Host an "End of the List Party - September 28, 2013"

Much editing to follow.  I'm open to other suggestions.  Anyone?




Tuesday, January 1, 2013

#66 - Decorate with a home-grown Christmas tree

Fortunately I was not too specific about what I meant by "decorate."  My original intent was to use a home-grown tree in lieu of a store bought, farmed tree.  Turns out those Christmas trees take a lot longer than three years to reach any kind of size (at least the way I grow them.)

The tree I ended up using was actually a little volunteer pine that showed up along our fence.  Denise was out talking to our neighbor who was spraying his weeds with Round-Up.  He offered to spray the tree, but I had fortunately already mentioned to Denise that I had plans for the little guy.  First a rescued mastiff, now a rescued pine tree.  Who knows what we'll rescue next.

Anyway, I nearly got through the holidays without finishing this.  Finally on Christmas Eve I got up in the morning and started "decorating" the tree.



In case you're wondering, yes that is the ribbon out of a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer can at the top of the tree and the ornaments are Thai and Habanero Peppers.  I thought it was beautiful.


#63 - Let someone else cook my birthday dinner

This year was my last chance to complete this item, last birthday before the end of my 1001 days.   Of course, I needed some help to make it happen.  Thanks Nick and Denise.


Nick came by after work and helped Denise put together a very nice seafood paella.  Washed down with a few nice beverages and followed up with a pecan pie (I'm not much of a cake guy) it was a very nice meal.







#51 - Build paver walkways

All in all, it's just another brick in the...floor.  This is another of those items that has been finished for quite some time, but I'm just getting around to posting about it.  For the longest time I've been intending to install concrete paver walkways around the perimeter of our back lawn.  We put in some short walkways about 16 years ago, which will give some ideal about how long I've been procrastinating on installing the remainder.

The impetus for finally kicking this project off was Denise's decision to purchase a hot tub.  The hot tub required a slab and as long as I was installing the slab it figured we should complete all the adjoining walkways.  The hot tub purchase also created a deadline.  The tub had a definite delivery/installation date scheduled and the walkways needed to be (mostly) completed before the delivery date.

So, after much excavation and leveling and boarder installation, we took delivery of about 4 and a half pallets (about eight tons, give or take) and started laying them out.  Interestingly, the only access to our back yard is on the side opposite the installation and the pallets were too heavy to forklift across the lawn.  So, all 16000 pounds had to be transferred by hand, hand truck, little red wagon or whatever means were readily available.

Over the course of several weekends, the pavers made their way across the yard and into their appointed places.

The reward for all the hard work was a long soak in the tub after the installation was complete.

Pictures to follow.