#38 - Learn to make neon signs

Another item a long time in the making.

After a significant amount of searching I found a neon sign design class offered by the Museum of Neon Art, http://www.neonmona.org/.  The museum was setting up a temporary at the NHRA museum at the Pomona Fairgrounds, kind of a poke from Temecula, but better than driving to Glendale, the planned permanent home of the museum.

I signed up for the class starting last January.  The class was taught by David Svenson, an artist who works with neon, glass and wood, among other things, to make some incredible works of art.  You can check out some of his work here -> http://www.svensonarts.com/david.htm and here -> http://www.californiastudioglass.org/?p=684.

Interestingly, one of my ideas for a neon project was to do something with my Dad's WWII 488th Bomb Squadron insignia.  

I was talking about how my Dad had worked on B25s during the war including aboard the Hornet supporting the Doolittle Raid and learned that David's father also served on B25s, as a flight engineer in North  Africa and Italy.  

It is a small world.

David sent a picture that his father took while serving, a photo of a B25 named "Wet Dreams," which was fairly consistent with the squadron insignia theme, as you might imagine.

I hadn't fully committed to the idea of the insignia, but when we found out our fathers both worked on B25s during the war I decided it was probably my karma to go ahead with the project.

I got off to what I thought was a good start with the design, going old school.  I scanned a copy of the artwork, printed it onto a transparency, borrowed an old overhead projector from the office, taped some paper to the wall and traced the projection out into a plan.  

Being not terribly bright, I complicated the design by making it three-dimensional.  My plan called for the circle in the design to be back-lit with a neon (well, technically, an argon-mercury filled blue phosphor-coated) tube, bouncing blue light off the wall to give a short of "wild blue yonder" effect.   The woman and bomb were to be a suspended in front of the circle, also back-lit, this time with green phosphor tubing behind the bomb and pinkish-white behind the woman, all one tube, because you can splice different colors of tubes together.  Well, YOU can't, but someone who knows how to bend tubing can.  I wanted some actual neon in the work, so I added the text "488th BOMB SQDN" in an arc following the bottom arc of the circle.  And the lightning bolt is theoretically to be a crackle tube(s), which I will have to explain later.

I should back up a bit and 'splain a bit.  We tend to refer to all these glowing gas tubes as neon, when in fact a sign may have no neon at all.  Neon gas glows bright red in a clear tube.  Other gases like argon, krypton or xenon, produce colors from violet to white to bluish white.  Inject some mercury into a neon gas tube and the thing turns bright blue.  Glass tubing can be colored or the inside of the tubing can be coated with different phosphors.  The tubes are all white when powered off, but glow different colors depending on the given coatings.  Crackle tubes are a special case where the gas tubes are filled with some manner of glass beads or whatever.  When the tube is lit the current tries to find a path through all the glass bits and creates a lightning like effect inside the tube.  Very cool actually.

After my quick start my project bogged down horribly, mostly because I tried to switch from old school to new school, importing the drawing into Adobe Illustrator and tweaking the pattern.  It turns out that I have no aptitude for Adobe Illustrator.  A smarter person would have sought assistance from one of our designers at work, guys who can probably run Illustrator in their sleep.  I, on the other hand, eventually reverted to my projector and pencil, a technology with which I am much more comfortable.

Sometime around last June I finally got the plans to my tube bender, Michael Flechtner.  Check out his work at http://www.flektro.com/.  (His work is amazing...check out his Neon Aquarium.  I particularly liked his Carrot and Stick crucifix.)  

Michael makes bending glass look like a piece of cake, which, based on my very limited experience in class, it is not.  Michael mentioned that he offered a bending class (I think he said it was 40 hours a week for six weeks and involved bending somewhere around 300 lbs of glass.)  I decided that tube bending was going to be beyond my grasp.

My tubes were ready relatively quickly, the only real problem being that Michael's studio is in Van Nuys, not exactly a quick hop from Temecula.  Picking up the tubes and driving them all the way back to Temecula was a little nerve wracking.  I had them taped down on some rigid foam insulation to protect them, but I still felt like I was a pothole away from breaking them all.

Once back home, the project went into yet another holding pattern while I installed a lawn, concrete paver walkways, a patio slab and a new hot tub.

Finally a few weeks ago I got sick of the tubes still sitting on their transport foam and decided to try to finish the damn thing.

The fabrication of the panels actually ended up being quite fun, the painting something of a pain as I have no artistic abilities, and the assembly totally nerve wracking, way more so than the drive from Van Nuys.  Because of my stupid multi-level design, I had to install tubes, flip the panels over, install more tubes, flip them back over to install transformers, etc.  Every flip ran the risk of smashing a tube.

Early in the fabrication process

Testing the wall mount, with the first base paint coats

Assembling the layers

In the end I managed to the thing assembled and mounted on the wall, using a French cleat that you could hang a Volkswagen from. 

Mostly finished project

I still have some work to do.  I need to get back together with my instructor on the crackle tubes and need to clean up some of the marginal wiring before I electrocute myself, but I think it's close enough to check this one off.

I have definitely learned what's involved in neon making neon art.  Sadly, much of it is beyond me.  I would have liked to have done some of the tube bending myself, but given the months of training and the expense of the equipment it probably will never be practical for me.  And the bombarding process, where the tubes are filled with gas is a little terrifying, involving enough voltage to light up a small town.  I don't know that I could be trusted with that.

#27 - Eat a Hot Dog at Pink's

Eating a hot dog proved to take longer than originally expected.

I've wanted to try Pink's for about forever, but for most of my life never even bothered to figure out precisely where it was.  Then a few years I bought tickets to see "Wicked" at the Pantages.  Denise and I spent the night at a Hollywood hotel and next morning decided to kill time with a trip to the LA Farmer's Market.  On the drive over from the hotel we drove right past Pink's.  It being only about 10:00 in the morning and having just pigged out on the hotel breakfast buffet, I opted not to stop in for a dog at that time.  Have been regretting it since.

I nearly cheated on this one; when Denise and I took Nicholas to LAX for his trip to Italy, nearly two years ago, we discovered a Pink's in the Bradley International Terminal.  So I could have legitimately said I did eat a hot dog at Pink's way back then, but that would have been a definite violation of the spirit of #27.

So, I have bided my time, waiting for the appropriate time to visit the original 1939 edition Pink's on La Brea in Hollywood.  On at least two occasions I have driven to the neighborhood, once going so far as to park my car up the street before ultimately deciding that the line was too long to be worth the wait.  On both those occasions I was alone and the thought of experiencing Pink's without someone to share just didn't seem right.

On Sunday I finally brought this one to a close.  Interestingly, Sunday I was supposed to have been checking off #21 - Run a 5K, by participating in the Redondo Beach Superbowl Sunday 5/10K Run.  Unfortunately, I broke the big toe on my right foot several weeks ago and that has cut into my training somewhat.  That and the fact that I needed to be in Redondo Beach by 6:00AM made the run a no go.

Denise and I were returning from Santa Barbara and I decided that with the Superbowl about to kick off, lines at Pink's might be mercifully short.  Score!  When we showed up there were about 10 people in line.  About 5 minutes in line and had our orders in; Chili Dog with Sauerkraut for Denise, Chicago Polish Dog with a side of Chili Cheese Fries.  Just water to drink, because we're trying to eat healthy after all.

Another five minutes later and we had our lunch.  Beautiful aren't they?

And I did actually eat my dog, photographic evidence provided below.  It was a bit messy.

So, the verdict?  Well, it was definitely an experience, the dogs were tasty and the lines non-existent, thanks to the Ravens and 49ers.  Would the dogs be worth it if the lines were the oft mentioned 45 minutes or more?  Well, I suppose that depends on who you're waiting with.  Any regrets?  Only that there were too many dogs and too little time.

#64 - Shave with a Straight Razor

The original number #64 - Avoid the urge to dye my hair/get a tattoo/buy a corvette/dump my wife for a younger woman - was at worst silly and at best unnecessary, since I have little hair left to dye, no money to buy a corvette and no shot at a younger woman.  As old age sets in and my memory fades I may actually opt for a tattoo, but it will be some handy information, like my social security number, bike lock combination or maybe my recipe for focaccia.

So, out with the old #64 and in with the new.  It is now #64 - Shave with a Straight Razor.  And, as of today, this one is also complete.

For some time I've been researching straight razor shaving, there being several attractions in it.  For one, it's SO manly.  James Bond shaves with a straight razor.  Or to be completely accurate, Bond Girls shave James Bond with a straight razor.  I have convinced myself that straight razor shaving must be more environmentally friendly than those disposable plastic 8-blade cartridge monstrosities, since you don't throw a straight razor away, you just sharpen it.  And the straight razor has to be cheaper in the long run, although it could be quite a long run.  

Those disposable blade cartridges are ridiculously expensive, but as it turns out, so is a good straight razor.  Not to worry; I bought a not so good straight razor for not so much money.  Technically, what I bought is not an actual straight razor, but a replaceable blade straight razor.  It uses safety razor type blades which have the advantage of being really inexpensive and require no honing, stropping, etc.  It's sort of a straight razor with training wheels.  When (and if) the wheels come off, I'll upgrade to a real straight razor, but that will be another day.

The really good news is that you can at least still cut the crap out of yourself with a replaceable blade straight razor, which I demonstrated admirably in my first foray.  

Fortunately, I also bought a styptic pencil.  All bleeding stopped for the moment.

It's NOT Happening!

Over two years into this process, it's becoming apparent that I will never complete my chosen one-hundred-one.

A quick check indicates that I have completed (some somewhat marginally) forty-four items.  Leaving FIDY-SEVEN!  Fifty-seven to-dos to be completed by September 28, 2013.

That's 247 days!

247 days is 8 months, 4 days, so roughly 7 per month.

Or, 35 weeks (rounded down) for about 1.6 per week.

 274/57 is one to-do every 4.333333333 days.

Of the fifty-seven, at least six involve travel time of a couple days to a week, to say nothing of the travel budget.

Ignoring for a moment the travel difficulties, I have about thirty-eight that I might have reasonably expected to complete.  I made a rough SWAG of the time required to complete those 38; 248 days.  So, assuming I take a sabbatical and dedicate myself exclusively to those items, it will take me one day more than I have available to complete them all.

That doesn't even address the nineteen that I've decided have no shot, e.g. learn a language.  What was I thinking?

Aside from choosing items poorly, I've also sidetracked myself into projects that were not on the list, but probably should have been.  Exempli gratia, install a hot tub.  Now that should have been on there.  Would it be wrong to list something after it's already completed?  Other list-worthy accomplishments that I neglected to enter; home-made batches of kim-chi, Sri Racha, habanero and cayenne pepper sauce, invented two cocktails (Pink Taser, and a Thai Lemon-Grass-Ginger thingy,) built a project table with drawers and cabinets for my woodworking, MacGyvered a stationary bike laptop holder out of welding rod and shrink tubing, pickled quails' eggs and attended the Stone Epic Festival!

The upshot is that I have two choices; 1) give up or 2) radically alter the parameters.  Well, when the going gets tough, the tough change the objective.  Radically altering it is.


Of course, several of the 101 were just silly to begin with, so they won't be horribly missed.

So, most likely on the way out...


9. Bench-press my body weight (i.e. lose 150 lbs) - it is to laugh.
10. Double my gas mileage - this assumed I'd be buying a hybrid; Denise preempted that plan.
11. Learn a language
23. Attend Shakespeare festival in Ashland, OR - too much travel, too little time.
28. Learn a new card game - turns out I know all the card games I care to learn.
40. Swim in the ocean - What?  And be mistaken for a manatee?!  No way.
41. Grow my own barley (and hops!) - I managed the hops, barley is unlikely.
42. Brew a beer from scratch (see #41) - without the barley I'm not likely to be brewing any beer.
53. Build a brewing station for storing all my stuff - considering sending my brewing stuff to live on a farm.
64. Avoid the urge to dye my hair/get a tattoo/buy a corvette/dump my wife for a younger woman
65. Encourage Denise to dye her hair/get a tattoo/buy a corvette/dump her husband for a younger man
70. Learn massage - to what end?
71. Get a massage (71-a; get back waxed first) - just too weird.
74. Ride a bike (get a bike) - this is sort of a duplicate of #81 - Ride bike to the market
77. Shoot hoops - having disposed of my "hoop" this has no chance
83. Use or lose the golf clubs - not likely to use, could possibly still lose
89. Create a reading nook - too many other remodel project related items.

And possibly on the way in...

• MacGyver something
• Host a Hunt, Gather, Grow or Barter Dinner
• Design an Arduino Project
• Send my brewing stuff to live on a farm
• Shave with a straight razor
• Forge a home-made knife out of an old saw blade 
• Design a wood-fired pizza oven/adobe oven for the backyard
• Climb "Walk on the Wild Side" (at Joshua Tree)
• Fly a sailplane?
• Design a cover lifter for the hot tub?
• Remove the alarm system from my truck
• Take a welding class (if I can find one short and cheap)
• Re-join a gym?
• Host an "End of the List Party - September 28, 2013"

Much editing to follow.  I'm open to other suggestions.  Anyone?

#66 - Decorate with a home-grown Christmas tree

Fortunately I was not too specific about what I meant by "decorate."  My original intent was to use a home-grown tree in lieu of a store bought, farmed tree.  Turns out those Christmas trees take a lot longer than three years to reach any kind of size (at least the way I grow them.)

The tree I ended up using was actually a little volunteer pine that showed up along our fence.  Denise was out talking to our neighbor who was spraying his weeds with Round-Up.  He offered to spray the tree, but I had fortunately already mentioned to Denise that I had plans for the little guy.  First a rescued mastiff, now a rescued pine tree.  Who knows what we'll rescue next.

Anyway, I nearly got through the holidays without finishing this.  Finally on Christmas Eve I got up in the morning and started "decorating" the tree.

In case you're wondering, yes that is the ribbon out of a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer can at the top of the tree and the ornaments are Thai and Habanero Peppers.  I thought it was beautiful.

#63 - Let someone else cook my birthday dinner

This year was my last chance to complete this item, last birthday before the end of my 1001 days.   Of course, I needed some help to make it happen.  Thanks Nick and Denise.

Nick came by after work and helped Denise put together a very nice seafood paella.  Washed down with a few nice beverages and followed up with a pecan pie (I'm not much of a cake guy) it was a very nice meal.

#51 - Build paver walkways

All in all, it's just another brick in the...floor.  This is another of those items that has been finished for quite some time, but I'm just getting around to posting about it.  For the longest time I've been intending to install concrete paver walkways around the perimeter of our back lawn.  We put in some short walkways about 16 years ago, which will give some ideal about how long I've been procrastinating on installing the remainder.

The impetus for finally kicking this project off was Denise's decision to purchase a hot tub.  The hot tub required a slab and as long as I was installing the slab it figured we should complete all the adjoining walkways.  The hot tub purchase also created a deadline.  The tub had a definite delivery/installation date scheduled and the walkways needed to be (mostly) completed before the delivery date.

So, after much excavation and leveling and boarder installation, we took delivery of about 4 and a half pallets (about eight tons, give or take) and started laying them out.  Interestingly, the only access to our back yard is on the side opposite the installation and the pallets were too heavy to forklift across the lawn.  So, all 16000 pounds had to be transferred by hand, hand truck, little red wagon or whatever means were readily available.

Over the course of several weekends, the pavers made their way across the yard and into their appointed places.

The reward for all the hard work was a long soak in the tub after the installation was complete.

Pictures to follow.

#4 - Go Somewhere Where I Need My Passport

Technically, I completed this one last April with a one-day trip to our manufacturing plant in Juarez, Mexico.  So, the stamp at right was the first to adorn my shiny new passport.

Somehow a quick sprint across the border, plant tour and meeting, followed by a return sprint back to the friendly confines of El Paso did not really seem to meet with the spirit of item #4, so I decided to hold off and see if I couldn't come up with something a little more like international vacationing.

I was thinking that Denise might like a stay at some resort, maybe south of France sort of thing.  Came up with something much better; CANADA!  Kind of like France, French being one of their two national languages, better in that we are in western Canada, where I have a rudimentary command of the language.  By employing my limited vocabulary along with animated gesticulations I seem to be able to communicate with most of the indigenous peoples.
 
As proof of my being in Canada, I submit the following;

Exhibit A: Westjet boarding pass

Exhibit B: Passport stamp from the Canada Border Services Agency

Exhibit C: Canadian beef



Exhibit D: Me, with some woman, at Dutch Creek with Hoodoos in the background

Better than any resort, I am spending the week at the famous Hog Lodge; five-star guest accommodations, excellent cuisine, live entertainment (belly dancers), lattes on demand, kayaking, hiking, Cuban cigars, fireworks (and they don't even lock up their liquor!)

More to come, I'll post a link to the balance of the photos after I've had time to pare through them and redact some of the more incriminating evidence.

#43 - Make Pastrami from Scratch

I took minor liberties with this one.  Having on occasion made corned beef briskets (from our CSA green-fed beef) and reasoning that pastrami was pretty similar, I opted for Turkey Pastrami. The turkey variety is arguably healthier and significantly less expensive than beef, not that that necessarily factored into my decision. 

Using a recipe by Guy Fieri, I started it in time to be ready for the smoker on the Independence Day holiday.  Brined the turkey breast in the fridge for a few days, then 24 hours in a dry rub, followed by several (4 or 5) hours in the smoker on the morning of the Fourth.

My only slight screw up was when taking it out of the smoker, I decided to crisp up the skin a bit on the gas grill.  There's a lot of fat in turkey skin, as it turns out, and it flares up pretty easily.  Consequently I ended up with a sort of Blackened Turkey Pastrami.  Reminded me of Moose Turd Pie (Good though!)

Blackened skin or no, it turned out pretty well.  Sampled it in a sandwich on rye, unadulterated but for a little classic yellow mustard.  Delicious!

#31 - Take a Cooking Class

A few years ago, Denise gave me an IOU for a cooking for my birthday.  Last night I finally collected.

Earlier this week I registered online for a class at the Sur La Table in Carlsbad.  I elected to turn it into a sort of date night and registered Denise as well. 

The topic of last nights course was "Quick Dinners from the Italian Pantry."  The menu called for Quick Parmesan Polenta with Thyme-Scented Mushrooms - Orechiette with Chicken, Roasted Red Peppers, and Pine Nut Pesto - Peach, Prosciutto and Gorgonzola Pizza with Aged Balsamic - Roasted Green Onion and Farro Salad with Fresh Mozzarella. 

I have to say that if I learned nothing else from the class I at least learned that Italian pantries are apparently better stocked than mine.  I don't generally have things like prosciutto, fresh mozzarella and aged balsamic laying around.  I guess I will have to work on that.

The class consisted of about 13 people divided into teams of four or so.  Each team prepared all four dishes, with different team members handling different parts of the prep, chopping, grating, whisking, sauteing, and whatever.  Here we have an action shot of Denise quartering cherry tomatoes for the Farro salad.  Look at those knife skills!  She's not even bleeding.

The instructor/chef and her assistants handled some of the prep to keep things within something like the 2-hour scheduled class time.  For example, the farro was pre-cooked before the class and the pizza dough, obviously, was prepared quite a while ahead so as to have time to rise.

The menu turned out to be very tasty.



Roasted Green Onion and Farro Salad with Fresh Mozzarella



A not at all good photo of the Orechiette with Chicken, Roasted Red Peppers, and Pine Nut Pesto

Another lousy picture of the polenta and mushrooms.

Peach, Prosciutto and Gorgonzola Pizza with Aged Balsamic

Sorry, the pictures were from my phone and the quality kind of sucks...also, in most cases I forgot to take pictures before I started eating.

Although I didn't learn much of anything new in the way of technique, I did come away with some new recipes, some ingredients I haven't played with previously and an opportunity to buy a bunch of kitchen gadgets that I probably don't need.  I especially like my new Pig Molcajete.

You get the class, a four-course meal and a 10% off coupon for all your Sur La Table shopping for the fairly reasonable price of $69/head.  Dinner out would have cost at least that much - but then dinner out would also have included alcohol.  I must sneak some in for my next class - perhaps their Summer Paella Workshop.

#29 - Visit a Civil War Battlefield

I suppose I should have been more specific, as I could have ended up in Libya or Syria or Sudan or God's knows where, but I did in fact mean to visit a United States Civil War battlefield.  And as a result of my most recent vacation I can check this one off.

Attended my nephew's wedding in Pittsburgh, PA, the last weekend in May.  Pittsburgh did not sound the least bit appealing (my only frame of reference being steel mills and Ben Rothlisberger fans) but it turned out to be quite a nice town and well worth a visit even if you're not attending a wedding.  We were lodged in a neighborhood near the University of Pittsburgh (Go Panthers!)  with an abundance of nice little diners and sandwich shops and bars and what not.  Consider (below) the steak sandwich from Primanti Brothers, their #2 best seller.  Foolishly I asked what their #1 best seller was; "Beer."

We even had time for a Reds-Pirates game at PNC Park on Memorial Day.  A violinist played the National Anthem - awesome!  ("Awesome...like a hot dog?"  "Like a hundred billion hot dogs sir!")  Check out the violideo on Facebook.

Leaving Pittsburgh on Tuesday (my 30th wedding anniversary - my wife's too, coincidentally) we headed east toward the quiet southern Pennsylvania town of Gettysburg.  Stopped, inadvertently, along the way at the Flight 93 Memorial site.  Inadvertently because we did not realize we were anywhere near the site.  Just happened to pull off the turnpike for a Denise break and saw a sign directing us to the memorial.  It is quite beautiful and moving.

The remainder of the drive to Gettysburg was uneventful except for the MASSIVE THUNDERSTORM that forced us off the road and into a convenient hilltop bar.  Waited through several Yuenglings for the storm to subside and finally arrived in Gettysburg in the early evening.

Tuesday night we stayed at the Quality Inn at General Lee's Headquarters on Seminary Ridge.  As the name states, Robert E. Lee made his headquarters in a couple of the buildings incorporated into this hotel site.  There's a small museum on site - free to lodgers - and probably more importantly, the Appalachian Brewing Company brew pub is directly next door, serving a perfectly acceptable IPA.

Our balcony on Seminary Ridge

Wednesday after breakfast and a tour of the hotel museum, we spent the entire remainder of the day touring Gettysburg National Military Park.   The visitor's center is beautiful, the museum very nice and the cyclorama, oh, interesting in a Disney-esque sort of way, that is until you realize that it was painted by one guy in less than a year in 1883 - it's 27 feet high by 359 feet around!

At the visitor's center we purchased "The Gettsyburg Story: Battlefield Auto Tour," a 3-CD set guiding you through some 16 different stops around the 10 square mile battlefield.  It is very good and well narrated - parts could bring you to tears, for example "The Wheat Field" (you can listen to the excerpt at the web site.)   Of course, the narration is much more powerful when you are sitting in the actual field.

We spent about 6 hours driving the 3-hour tour - BTW, I can't use the phrase 3-hour tour without hearing the Gilligan's Island theme song rattling around in the open recesses of my cranium - because I felt compelled to get out of the car and run around at every scheduled stop and points in between.

I could easily have spent a week or a month.  It is beautiful and poignant and inspiring.  I won't even try to recount any details of the visit, there are way too many to begin to describe.  The best advice I can give is to visit. 

A small sampling of photos follows...you can view the lot here.

Little Round Top

Confederate Cannon

Near the Confederate "High Water Mark"

A fine long day, eventually we had to move on towards D.C., but not before dinner at the Pub and Restaurant in downtown Gettysburg.

As a postscript to our visit, after arriving in our Arlington, VA, apartment, the boys and I spent the remaining nights of the trip streaming Ken Burn's "The Civil War" through Netflix.  I've always loved that, but the experience of the battlefield visit puts the film in a whole new perspective.

#3 - Visit the Smithsonian

Yes, I have now visited the Smithsonian.  Or a couple Smithsonians actually, there are after all a whole herd of Smithsonian museums in Washington D.C. and its environs.

My first visit was to the National Air and Space Museum, Stephen F. Udvar-Hazy Center at Dulles International Airport, new home of the Space Shuttle Discovery. 

Also home of the Enola Gay, Gossamer Albatross, Concord, GlobalFlyer, Mercury, Gemini and Apollo capsules and even a couple Goodyear blimp gondolas.  Very cool!  Pictures to be viewed here.

Next day we spent a bit of time at the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History on the National Mall.  Too much to see and too many groups of school children, but we managed to see bits of dinosaur fossils, ancient seas, human history, the Hope Diamond, gems and minerals and the Chilean miner escape pod.  We even had a beer in the museum's cafe.

#8 - Weigh what is says on my driver's license

I may have bent the truth a little bit the last time I had to update my driver's license.  Didn't really lie actually, just didn't update the part about my weight.  The fields for my height (6'-2") hadn't changed nor sex (rarely), so I figured I'd just leave the weight where it was, even though that particular number was well back in the rear view mirror.

Anyway, I've since been a little worried whenever in a traffic stop (which is often) that I may be arrested for trying to impersonate a thinner person.

Short of contracting some debilitating disease or having my broken jaw wired shut, I figured I was never likely to get back to my ideal weight, much less my driver's license weight.  But when the time came to draft my hundred and one things, I decided I might as well throw this one out there.

Once it was on the list I didn't give it much thought again until early this year, with the arrival of the Christmas family photos.  "Good God! Who is the FAT F__K in those pictures?!?!?"  Well, that was me.

So, I started on a diet.  And exercise.  And joined in a little weight loss competition at work.  And I actually started to lose weight.

Today was the final weigh-in at work and actually measured in at 2.2 lbs under my DLW.  So, I'm going to count this one really quick before I put all the weight back on again.

Actually, I have about another 12 or 13 pounds to get to my real target weight, so I'm going to keep going for a while.

Wii is an Idiot
One little side note: the only "scale" we have in the house is our Wii Fit.  (Actually, that's not true...I have a little electronic kitchen scale, but I'd have to cut myself up into little 2lb increments to weigh myself on that.)  I have lately been weighing in on the scale at work and haven't checked in on the Wii for months.  So, just for kicks I got on the Wii the other evening to see how it compared with the readings at the office.

So, I get on and the first thing out of the Wii's...mouth?...as it magically calculates my BMI is "That's Obese!"  No "Hey, haven't seen you in a while" or "Wow, you've lost 30 lbs since last you stepped on me."  No, just calls me obese.  (Actually, I Googled my height and weight and found a site that says I'm just Overweight, so I'm sticking with that.)

So Wii goes on to suggest that a good target weight for me would be 171.5 lbs.  ONE SEVENTY ONE FIVE!!!!  For the record, I haven't weighed 171.5 since I was a sophomore in high school.  When I was in my best shape ever, running 10Ks and doing peak climbs in the Sierras all summer, I weighed about 208.  And also for the record, 171.5 is another SIXTY-SEVEN POINT THREE POUNDS less than what I weighed in this morning.   You do the math.  I'm pretty sure I've eaten meals that weigh more than 171.5.

Anyway, tonight I am going to celebrate with a little Woodford Reserve  90 proof.  110 calories per shot. 

#35 - Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity

I've been meaning to do this for a long, long time and the opportunity finally presented itself this last Saturday.  The timing was bad, coinciding with a brief heat wave and a ramp up in workload at the office,  but I went ahead anyway, not knowing when the next opportunity might present itself.

That's me way down on the end >>>

I should probably back up a bit.  For some time I've been of the opinion that I should probably be more engaged in some mode of volunteerism.  While I think adopting Leo qualifies me for at least a few brownie points, it doesn't probably meet the criteria for community service.

My last major volunteer activity was the Chaparral High School Grad Night, setting up the gymnasium and constructing sets for the all-night post-graduation party.  While it was only a little over a week of construction and manual labor per year, it was a LOT of labor, so I figured it met at least my minimum moral obligation. 

Grad Night was a good fit for me as a volunteer; lots of hands on activities, physical labor, not too terribly intellectually taxing, requiring minimal social skills, it provided an opportunity to employ my abundant (but somehow always inadequate) array of power tools and, in the process, bleed on lots of things.  Consistent with the notion that no good deed goes unpunished, one year the Grad Night project even landed me in the hospital.

Sadly, my last foray into the Grad Night space was the year of Jacob's crash, so he did not even attend the Grad Night of his graduation.  (That's coming up on three years ago already, BTW.)  That, as it turned out, was also the last year for the Chaparral Grad Night as we knew it.  It turned out to be too expensive and way too much work for the few volunteers who really ran things, so now they've opted for Disney trips or God only knows what.

So, on to new avenues of community involvement.  Framing houses for Habitat seemed like another good fit.  Let's face it, I'm not the type to counsel trouble youths: "You know Johnny, I've always found that there's no problem too big for alcohol."

My introductory framing session was this last Saturday morning.  Early morning.  6:30AM in Jurupa Valley.  Which meant an O'dark-thirty wake up call and hour drive, which is not a fun way to start the weekend.  The Habitat organizers check you in, collect your waiver of liability, serve up some donated Starbucks coffee, give a brief prayer (that volunteers not bash each other with flailing hammers), issue tools and then offer some brief training.  There are professional framers volunteering their time to coordinate things and keep the volunteers from doing any permanent damage.  It looked a lot like they were herding cats.

While probably necessary given the number of novices swinging hammers, the mandatory hardhats and safety glasses were a pain in the butt.  I'd be bending over driving nails, blinded by sweaty googles, swinging the hammer with right hand and with the left catching the hardhat that was forever flying off my head.

I cannot remember when I have ever driven so many nails, but I have a pair of nice blisters on my hammer hand proving that I participated (and that I am a pussy.)

All things considered, it was hot, sweaty and actually quite enjoyable.  It was pretty amazing actually; big empty concrete slab and piles of lumber at 7:30 and by 10:30 all the walls, exterior and interior, were nailed up and raised.  The site is not too far from my office, so I'll have to drive by once in a while to see how quickly the rest goes up.

Rather than bore you with more of my babbling on about the project, you can check out more info and pictures at http://www.habitatriverside.org/42112-walls-raised-at-crestmore/1368.

The only really weird part was doing all that construction without a single beer.  That is clearly not like me.

Updates on some overdue postings

Another of the several list items that I've finished, but have been too lazy to update in the blog.  Some of these were only marginally completed, but I'm going to count them anyway.

45. Build a media serverWhile probably not technically a media server, I'm counting this.  My old tower PC was about full to the gills with cheesy home video and music files.  I bought a RAID controller card and a few hard drives and now I have a few spare terrabytes to start filling up with even more cheese.

68. Mow the grass with a push mower (don't tell any co-workers) We snagged a push mower from Jackie and Mike's garage sail when they moved to their current (grass free) home.  It has come in handy on a number of occasions, in light of the fact that my gas mower has become somewhat tempermental.  I think the auto-choke is messed up; works fine in warm weather, not so much in cold.

The push mower is fine for our meager front lawn, as long as we keep on top of it.  Allow the grass to get out of control through a couple weeks of neglect and it becomes quite a chore.

75. Dress up and go out
Nothing regular, but I have actually managed a couple occasions that warranted a suit, Christmas parties, weddings, the old play.  Damn, I'm good looking.

79. Listen to podcasts/audiobooks on the commuteI've been doing this, but not as much as I might have originally liked.  Turns out I have a sort of commuting ADD; I lose track of what's transpiring in the book while I'm busy swearing at all the stupid motorists doing the kind of jack-assed maneuvers that I routinely do on my own.  I am constantly realizing that I've missed some key point and having to re-wind (not easily accomplished with my iPod while driving.) 

I'm currently listening to "The Guns of August" both on the commute and at bed time.  At bed time it is an excellent sleeping aid; I must have listened to the first five chapters 50 times, forever falling asleep and then rewinding.  I suppose I shouldn't use a sleeping aid while driving, but oh well.

85. Visit Alpine BrewingOne afternoon after spending the day at work at our El Cajon plant, I went east on a sojourn to the town of Alpine and the brewery therein.  Damn fine beer, (Pure Hoppiness) even when drinking alone.  Bought a growler and brought some home.  I was not going to count this yet, because for some reason it didn't feel like it counted with no one along to witness.  But then again, who knows when I might get back there again.

86. Build music boxes with the movements I've had foreverGot a few done this year at Christmas, one for Tee and one for Denise.  Have another 4 or 5 movements left, but this was a good start.

91. Organize the garage so we can get a car in it and still use it as a workshopWhile not really well organized, we can at least keep Denise's Prius in the garage and I can, for the most part, get at my tools.  Certainly will benefit from more organizing, but the car is in, so count it.

93. Get a new bed
Another one that is not entirely finished, but it does constitute a new bed, so I think it qualifies.  I built a box-bed frame and Denise purchased a "green" mattress to top it off.  We're sleeping on it, so it must be a bed.  I still need to finish the drawers that are supposed to fit in the frame.  They've been cut out and ready to assemble for months, but Denise keeps finding other projects for me.

98. Convert Nick's old room into my office/exercise/reading/media room
I have my computer, exercise bike, Wii, cable box, USB turntable, Power Block weight bench and probalby a few other items all arranged in Nick's old room, organized enough that I can actually use them.  Still a bit of a mess, but hey, it's a man's room.

#61 - Dinner at Cold Spring Tavern

Took me a while, but when I finally finished this one I finished it good.

For four straight weekends last month I worked in Goleta, helping Denise and her sibling's renovate their rental property.

Their renters of the last nine years or so recently departed, so there was about nine years worth of deferred maintenance to be done before putting it back on the market.  Actually, more like 45 years in some cases, because there's stuff that's never been upgraded in the lifetime of the house; single-pane aluminum sliders, dilapidated patio cover, painting galore.

As if I don't have enough projects to do at my own house.  But these projects took precedence, so off to Goleta we've gone.

Anyways, I decided that as long as I was shackled into forced labor I might as well have a little fun.  So, after working our second straight Saturday we took the entire crew (Pam, Paul, Doug and Sue) to Cold Spring Tavern for dinner.  We were joined by my sister, Linda.  Leo stayed back at the Goleta house with Bear.

Unfortunately, my phone's camera was not cooperating much so I have little in the was of photographic evidence.  I do have this fabulous photograph of Doug and Paul, in front of one of the aging trophies.  I will say this - taxidermy is not forever.  So of these various critter heads are in pretty sad shape.

The food on the other hand is delicious.




I love the Cold Spring Chili, so I had it for an appetizer.  Here's a photo.  Well it's a photo of what was left.

For my entree, the bunny.   Actually, Sauteed Medallions of Rabbit in a Marsala sauce of some type.  Fabulous!

 Not one for dessert, I had some Patrón XO Cafe instead (they were out of Gran Marnier.)  Not too bad at all.

Having completed item #61, I went on, in the spirit of beating a dead horse, and had dinner at Cold Spring again two weekends later.  Linda had mentioned that she had some old tools she was getting rid of and was I interested.  Never passing up an opportunity for more tools, I went with Denise up to the top of the pass, met Linda for dinner (the baby back ribs this time, yummy) and finished up the evening by raiding Linda's garage.  I don't actually need anymore tools, but I figure the boys can certainly use them.

Oh, besides the visits to Cold Spring, there was one other benefit of working on the Goleta house; it gave me the chance to use one of my other fabulous Christmas gifts...

"As seen on TV" the magic wrist band magnetic screw holder thingy that Denise saw fit to buy me.  I will say it provided an excellent workout; climbing up and down the ladder to pick up the bolts and nuts that kept falling off the magnets.  Oh well, I suppose I was exceeding the weight rating.  What it did best was too make my wrist all sweaty. 






#62 - Host a Feast of the Seven (or more) International Fish Dishes

It's been two months since completing this item and I don't know why it's taken so long to post.  I quite enjoyed completing it.  It turned out to be a...

 "Feast of the Indeterminate Number of Multinational Fishes." 

I tried, but I simply couldn't weed the list down to seven dishes, but I was proud to have gotten down from the original 25 or so to a nice round eleven.  Well, not so round, but at least an odd number which I understand to be required for good luck.  As to the multinational part, I never intended to try to do all Italian dishes, because I'm sure I couldn't pull that off.  So, there was some Mexican, Italian, French, etc. to try to make it interesting

The Menu

Appetizers

Oysters on the Half Shell

 Nicholas provided the oysters from a local San Diego farmer's market.  Raised locally, at Carlsbad Aquafarm, they were small and delicious little morsels, even if inexpertly shucked by yours truly.  They taste like the sea and I mean that in the best of ways.  Must have more.

 

 

Grilled Shrimp on Rosemary Skewers

 Giant shrimp from the local market, with skewers of fresh rosemary from our own front yard.  These are simple, tasty and easy to prep ahead of time, keeping some of the craziness of course coordination to a minimum.

 

 

Potato Blinis with Sour Cream, Dill and Black Caviar

  I didn't follow any particular recipe, just threw things together including some left over mashed potatoes.  The were fun to make and turned out very pretty, if not particularly tasty.

 

 

 Calamari Friti with Fried Zucchini

One of the several courses where I injected some vegan choices into the menu.  The original plan did not call for zucchini, but I didn't want Tee to starve while we all gorged ourselves on seafood.  The calamari recipe is from Giada De Laurentis on Food Network and they are great.

 

 

Catfish Ceviche with Avocado & Tortilla Chips

I love this one!  Catfish is so easy to get ahold of and we have gallons of lime juice from our tree.  Another dish easily made ahead.

Soup

Shrimp and Crab, Black Bean and Corn Chowder Salad

My original plan was for bouillabaisse, but that's not easily veganized.  I switched to this chowder recipe, which was vegan right up until the shrimp and crab were added.  Served a bowl for Tee, then added the seafood and served everyone else.  This is very good, but could easily be a meal in itself.  A little much when combining with ten other dishes.

Salad

Variation on Nicoise with Smoked Trout

This was a nice idea with poor execution.  I had some butterflied trout fillets from the local market, which I smoked in my electric smoker.  The trout went on to what would otherwise have been a Nicoise salad.  Unfortunately, I was so intent on not overcooking my potatoes that they were under cooked.  A little Irish as some would say, although I've never understood that expression.

 

 

Course 1

Local Mussels in Thai Green Curry Sauce with a side of Kimchi

The mussels also came from Nicholas by way of San Diego and Carlsbad Aquafarm.  The kimchi was homemade and didn't necessarly belong along side Thai cuisine, but I like it and it's vegan.  But then, I don't even know if Tee like kimchi.

 

 

Course 2

Salmon Croquettes

This was another dish that I figured would be relatively easy to prepare mostly ahead of serving.  The croquettes were all assembled earlier before the guests arrived and just had to be fried up for serving.  I normally love this recipe (or not recipe actually, since I don't entirely follow one), but this time I was less than impressed with myself.  Maybe I was just full.  If no one else enjoyed them, at least Leo did; he ended up with the left over salmon skin.

 

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This was as far as the meal made it before most in attendance threw in the towel.  It must have been all those damn vegan sides that filled everyone up.

 

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Course 3

Tilapia Fish Tacos

As it turned out, Jacob and his friend Giovana came in later and requested the fish tacos, so while they weren't a part of the actual feast they sort of made it in as dessert this made me very happy, because they were really good in my humble opinion, particularly the chipotle crema sauce on top.

 

 

Course 4

Spaghetti with Tuna

Alas, this course did not make the cut, even for dessert.  I had strategically saved this one for last, because all of the ingredients could keep.  The recipe uses canned tuna, in this case locally packed from American Tuna.  It is delcious and was worth the wait until we made it many days later once fully recovered from fish overdose.  The recipe I found in Bon Apetite and could not be simpler.

Many Overdue

I continue to be terribly remiss in my duties updating this blog.  I've completed several of the items and have failed through laziness or general boredom or whatever to post a single update in Blog knows how long.

I've also made a number of changes to the list, removed some items that seemed boring, incredibly unlikely or maybe just silly.  In their place I've added a number of things that are significantly more likely and, more importantly, potentially fun.

Anyway, stayed tuned.  I should have some updates shortly.

#25 - Grow Rhubarb

Close this one out.  I have been really remiss in reporting on the progress of my rhubarb and should have posted long ago.

Of the 25 seeds planted back in January, about 15 survived to plant in the yard.  I added two bare-root plants and another potted rhubarb for about 18 total plants.

A couple of the plants started from seed proved to be the best producers.  For no rhyme or reason, some plants sprouted enormous shoots up to 3 feet tall. 

Others remaining delicate little plants with shoots less than a foot.  Throughout the summer I've been harvesting rhubarb off about all the plants. 

I struggled with a rhubarbian dilemma.  I started out trying the Texas method, which called for planting from seed and harvesting the entire plant as an annual, rather than a perennial.  My dilemma was that the plants all seemed to be doing so well, that I thought they might survive and actually establish themselves as perennials.

Unfortunately, as the late summer heated up, some (many) of the plants start dying off.

I'm now down to the potted plant, 1 bare-root and about 5 of the plants started from seed (a couple of which appear to be not long for the world.

The potted plant suffered an early setback; the day after planting it, Leo decided to help us out in the garden by unplanting it.  It's actually survived reasonably well, now protected by a tomato cage.  I think it may actually make it for the long term, dog willing.

All things considered, the rhubarb experiment has gone well.  I've accumulated a bunch in the freezer, donated bags full to Nick and Tee and Tee's family and should be able to harvest more before the plants all die off completely.

I've produced a few crisps (including an abortive attempt using Stevia instead of sugar, bleah!) some rhubarb sauce, but sadly no strawberry-rhubarb pie, because we've only produced about a strawberry and a half from our meager strawberry patch.

Anyway, I declare the rhubarb experiment a success.  I submit as proof, Nicholas with his Rhubarb-Peach Birthday Crisp.

#19 - Make Cheese

It wasn't much, but I'm going to count it.  Alton Brown had an episode of "Good Eats" on milk and one of the recipes he presented was cottage cheese.  Denise put cottage cheese on the shopping list, so I figured I'd buy some skim milk and make the cottage cheese from scratch.

Below we have the curds separating from the whey.  Kind of a weird and interesting process to watch.  Changes the way you think about milk, that's for sure.

The finished product follows.  It was good, but not your stereotypical cottage cheese experience.  The texture was sort of a cross between cottage cheese and crumbled mozzarella. 

I suspect I may have not processed the recipe entirely accurately, so I might need to try again.  Either way, I'm counting it as cheese.  If I can score some goat milk someplace I may try it with that, bur for now I am checking off #19.

#49 - Rent a Storage Locker and Clean Out the House

Boring yes, but earlier this summer we finally rented a storage locker and while the house is not entirely clean we did get rid of a lot of junk.  This was especially helpful with Nick having moved much of his stuff home from "The Hall" in Davis.

Now that Nick and Tee have a new apartment and Nick's stuff has moved to a new home, the storage isn't so critical.  When I check off #50 we'll be able to move stuff back and cancel the storage rental, but until that time it's a big help.